Interview Meme: Rey's Questions

[ambitious_wench]

How did you rationalise staying with an abusive partner?

Like most women, I felt that I deserved it, or that s/he would change. Yes, I've had abusive partners that were female.

Re: your alternative lifestyle preferences - which came first - BDSM or lesbianism. And was it easier to accept the second once you'd admitted the first to yourself?

Ooh, tough one. Looking back over my life, I'd have to say that my sexual orientation is deeply ingrained--possibly at the genetic level. So I wouldn't call that a "lifestyle preference/choice". BDSM is not so deep as that, really. I toyed with BDSM in a half-blind way when I was married to my second husband. But it didn't really blossom until my relationship with Robin. As for being easier to admit, yes, I think so. If you read my response to lederhosen's question about what's the best thing about being lesbian, I'd have to say that coming out and realizing that you are beyond the pale is both terrifying and liberating. There's all sorts of things to explore, and no one barring the way.

When the darkness tries to descend, which music do you play to get out of it, and which to stay deep in the darkness?

Oddly, when all the color and flavor runs out of life, I am not inclined to listen to music.

How did you get involved in the weirdness that is alt.dbs?

A friend introduced me to it in 1998. After I had a false start, I went on hiatus in 1999. I lurked on and off until May of 2002, then dove in full force. And it's been fun ever since.

While in the Navy, what was the worst hazing you saw or had happen to you?

I once helped a woman check on board, fresh out of training school. Helped her get settled into her barracks room, took her over the base for check-ins. That night, her first onboard the station, a "shipmate" *SPIT!* climbed in her window and raped and beat her.

They had his fingerprints, and he'd been seen on the ledge outside her window. But his supervisor said that he had been passed-out drunk on his sofa that night, and so charges were dropped. Later it was determined that the room had belonged to another woman--the woman his wife had left him for.

The woman who'd been raped later attempted suicide--thankfully, she failed. But she was discharged from the Navy for psychological reasons.

As for me, well, my husband wrote sexually explicit comments about me on the men's bathroom wall where I worked, once. I had no clue why the men would stop talking when I came into a room, then start chuckling, and asking me personal questions,--such as if I was a "real redhead".