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ambitious_wenchCompared to folks who can write articles on "spooky" communication between atoms (a delicious term coined by Einstein), I'm Nothing Special (TM). Oh, I know, I do ok. But then there are times when I am confronted with the Profound Stupidity of human beings, and I feel gifted with the intellect of the greatest minds of all ages in comparison.
A friend of mine once asked me what it takes to get a job in Yosemite. My response was simply "a pulse".
I've taken to using it a lot lately. When some numb nut comes in with his uniforms filthy with WAY more than just not washing the last set he wore, claiming he has to catch the bus in 10 minutes so he can go back to school, I point to the big sign that says "Unlaundered uniforms will not be accepted for return or exchange". The usual response is "Nobody *told* me!".
I take the fetid mess with an acid look, and send them on their way. As soon as the last jangle of the door bell fades away, I mutter "All it takes is a fucking pulse".
Tonight, however, it went WAY beyond the pale. We are talking the Hand of God Poised Over the Shallow End of the Gene Pool With the Chlorine Bottle Tipped and About to Dispense kind of Stupidity.
So, I drive back to the dorm, and see a parking spot next to a guy working on a sweet little classic Datsun 280Z. No biggie, some tools on the ground, lots of room to pull up beside him.
Get out of the car and almost shit myself at what I see; my hands start sweating, my pulse rate jumps, and my legs begin shaking.
He's managed to raise the rear of the car and has it propped. The driver side rear wheel is off, exposing the oddly crenelated disk brake. From my vantage point, it appears that it is resting solely on an oval shaped rock, on the pointed end of the rock, right on the edge of the fucking disk brake. His head is *right* under the disk in front of the rock.
I'm so dumbfounded that I don't even look for a jack. I honestly do not remember seeing one on that side of the car.
Now, to be as objective as I can be after some time, and a glass of wine, I have to include the following: It was a quick look. I don't know if he had a jack as well as the rock. I am not entirely sure the rock was under the edge of the brake disk. I remember being puzzled by the crenelations around the edge of the disk. His body was roughly alongside the length of the car, and could have been hiding a jack. A little while ago I went out, and he was gone, the car was still on the rock, and there was a jack (scissors-type, very flimsy looking, extended higher than I would consider safe) midpoint on the edge of the car. I am not sure it was on a legitimate jack point.
Once I got in my room, I called Security and told that that while it may not be illegal, it certainly was stupid, and I really didn't want to go back out and see him laying under his car with his head crushed by the disk. I also felt that confronting him would have been ineffective, because I'd had experience in the Navy with this sort of stupidity, and had been called a "fucking bitch" for pointing out unsafe situations.
I told Security that it would probably be better coming from a man in a uniform than a woman.
They did send someone out there, between the time I called and the time I saw the jack. I don't know if the jack was put in place before or after Security paid a visit.
Now for why it upset me so: In the Navy, when I was stationed at Barber's Point, HI, a shipmate of mine lost his right hand when a jury-rigged jack collapsed and a HUGE tow tractor landed on him. The transmission dropped down on his hand after he removed the last bolt, crushing it beyond repair. It had to be amputated.
I like to think that my friends have a bit more intelligence than the common human; If you are going to work under a car, invest in a really good set of jack stands; DO NOT USE THE JACK MEANT FOR CHANGING TIRES IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE UNDER THE CAR!
I used to be sent under NC-8A Mobile Electric Power Plants to unbolt the flywheel from the inline generator because my hands were small enough to get into the housing. I would use 4 jack stands, each rated to 4 tons, and would keep the hydraulic jack in place as well.
Be safe. Please?
A friend of mine once asked me what it takes to get a job in Yosemite. My response was simply "a pulse".
I've taken to using it a lot lately. When some numb nut comes in with his uniforms filthy with WAY more than just not washing the last set he wore, claiming he has to catch the bus in 10 minutes so he can go back to school, I point to the big sign that says "Unlaundered uniforms will not be accepted for return or exchange". The usual response is "Nobody *told* me!".
I take the fetid mess with an acid look, and send them on their way. As soon as the last jangle of the door bell fades away, I mutter "All it takes is a fucking pulse".
Tonight, however, it went WAY beyond the pale. We are talking the Hand of God Poised Over the Shallow End of the Gene Pool With the Chlorine Bottle Tipped and About to Dispense kind of Stupidity.
So, I drive back to the dorm, and see a parking spot next to a guy working on a sweet little classic Datsun 280Z. No biggie, some tools on the ground, lots of room to pull up beside him.
Get out of the car and almost shit myself at what I see; my hands start sweating, my pulse rate jumps, and my legs begin shaking.
He's managed to raise the rear of the car and has it propped. The driver side rear wheel is off, exposing the oddly crenelated disk brake. From my vantage point, it appears that it is resting solely on an oval shaped rock, on the pointed end of the rock, right on the edge of the fucking disk brake. His head is *right* under the disk in front of the rock.
I'm so dumbfounded that I don't even look for a jack. I honestly do not remember seeing one on that side of the car.
Now, to be as objective as I can be after some time, and a glass of wine, I have to include the following: It was a quick look. I don't know if he had a jack as well as the rock. I am not entirely sure the rock was under the edge of the brake disk. I remember being puzzled by the crenelations around the edge of the disk. His body was roughly alongside the length of the car, and could have been hiding a jack. A little while ago I went out, and he was gone, the car was still on the rock, and there was a jack (scissors-type, very flimsy looking, extended higher than I would consider safe) midpoint on the edge of the car. I am not sure it was on a legitimate jack point.
Once I got in my room, I called Security and told that that while it may not be illegal, it certainly was stupid, and I really didn't want to go back out and see him laying under his car with his head crushed by the disk. I also felt that confronting him would have been ineffective, because I'd had experience in the Navy with this sort of stupidity, and had been called a "fucking bitch" for pointing out unsafe situations.
I told Security that it would probably be better coming from a man in a uniform than a woman.
They did send someone out there, between the time I called and the time I saw the jack. I don't know if the jack was put in place before or after Security paid a visit.
Now for why it upset me so: In the Navy, when I was stationed at Barber's Point, HI, a shipmate of mine lost his right hand when a jury-rigged jack collapsed and a HUGE tow tractor landed on him. The transmission dropped down on his hand after he removed the last bolt, crushing it beyond repair. It had to be amputated.
I like to think that my friends have a bit more intelligence than the common human; If you are going to work under a car, invest in a really good set of jack stands; DO NOT USE THE JACK MEANT FOR CHANGING TIRES IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE UNDER THE CAR!
I used to be sent under NC-8A Mobile Electric Power Plants to unbolt the flywheel from the inline generator because my hands were small enough to get into the housing. I would use 4 jack stands, each rated to 4 tons, and would keep the hydraulic jack in place as well.
Be safe. Please?