Where are the men-haters?

[ambitious_wench]

What, exactly, is a "man-hater"? Why are women accused of being "man-haters"? What women are accused of it?

Do any of my readers hate men, either as a group or particular individuals?

I used to think that there was no corollary misogyny, but I'm not sure any more. Does "Man-hating" count?

On reflection, I don't think it does. Misogyny exists at such a broad and low level we don't see it. It's the mycelium of the occasional toadstool of sexism in the lawn of a woman's life. You aren't going to get rid of the toadstool until you kill the mycelium.

"Man-hating", on the other hand, is something that women are accused of when they don't accept the status quo of male privilege.

The operative word here is "accused". You see, women are accused of causing rape--by doing things they have a right to do, such as wearing "skimpy clothes", having a few drinks in public, or walking alone at night. Women are also accused of being "bitches" when they say no--not only to sex, but to other things as well, like ordering pizza on a cell phone for a drunk classmate.

Man-hating? Frankly, hating is something that saps the life out of me, and no asshole, male or female is worth bleeding away my life for.

Comments

[mr-figgy.livejournal.com]

I think woman-hating is called misogyny, and man-hating is technically misandry. I don't hear the latter as much, though, because given the current and historical layout of patriarchal hegemony in the world, accusing someone of misandry is a very odd thing to do--though I've heard it on a couple of occasions.

My first guess is you thought of this post because you encountered this epithet, used against you or an acquaintance or someone on a forum of communication you visited. I know that can be my motivation for posting, though it may not be yours; once again, I'm guessing. If someone accused you in particular of "man-hating", I have a difficult time taking that seriously, having encountered your online self for some time. I never got the impression you hated me, or the other mutual acquaintances of ours who identify as male.

[ambitious-wench.livejournal.com]

No, I can't say I've recently been called a man-hater to my face. Nor can I say I've seen it in use by any of the trolls on the several feminist blogs I read. Not lately, at least. Most of the trolls tend to bait the "rabid feminists" with less overt misogyny.

BTW, a misanthrope is someone who hates humanity, across the board. Misandry isn't in common use as you said.

[mr-figgy.livejournal.com]

It does show up on dictionary.com under misandry, and misandrist, for what that's worth. Still a rare word, and can't be fairly applied to someone who is providing reasonable criticism of terrible inequality and structural violence.

[lederhosen.livejournal.com]

I tend to assume there are a few genuine misandrists out there, just because it's a big enough world to exhibit just about every form of idiocy somewhere.

But I don't think I've ever met one, and when I hear somebody called a 'man-hater' I usually assume that's merely code for 'feminist with whom the speaker disagrees'.

[ambitious-wench.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's pretty much my definition, too.

[culfinriel.livejournal.com]

I think it mostly happens when people resort to name-calling because they haven't anything more intelligent to contribute. Somebody once pointed out to me that the word hate gets tossed around pretty casually, too, and while we often dislike things, sometimes intensely, it takes a lot of energy to hate and it's rarely really what we mean. Which just circles back to people throwing out words without thinking, or because they're just that limited.