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ambitious_wenchLately DJ has made expressed confusion regarding Lederhosen's comments on respect and tolerance. I'm not going to go into the religious aspect, and I am going to try to stay away from value judgements.
One of the problems is that respect is a rather nebulous word. It's like "worship" and "gratitude". I have yet to get satisfactory definitions for any of the three. And not for want of trying. Respect does carry the connotation of something held between equals, or for a subordinate for superior, and only in rare cases, a superior for a subordinate.
Tolerance implies the power to be intolerant, and is therefor flavored with the connotation of power-over. It also carries the odor of finite-ness. Tolerance can be exhausted. A mother tolerates bad behavior to a point. A boss tolerates poor attendance only so long. And then the fecal material strikes the atmospheric oscilating agitator.
I think the middle ground that's missing is "acceptance". Somewhere between Respect and Tolerance is Acceptance. It's a neutral word and concept. It smacks of resignation at times, and curiousity at others. Depending on how it is used in a recipe of words it can calm the heat of a peppery topic.
As someone who is "tolerated" more often than respected, I simply long for acceptance. You don't have to love me. I know that respect is something earned over time. But do not deny me my inherant value by merely tolerating me. I'd rather that you shut me out entirely rather than roll your eyes and ignore me with a "huff" of tedium.
Does that help?
Edie
One of the problems is that respect is a rather nebulous word. It's like "worship" and "gratitude". I have yet to get satisfactory definitions for any of the three. And not for want of trying. Respect does carry the connotation of something held between equals, or for a subordinate for superior, and only in rare cases, a superior for a subordinate.
Tolerance implies the power to be intolerant, and is therefor flavored with the connotation of power-over. It also carries the odor of finite-ness. Tolerance can be exhausted. A mother tolerates bad behavior to a point. A boss tolerates poor attendance only so long. And then the fecal material strikes the atmospheric oscilating agitator.
I think the middle ground that's missing is "acceptance". Somewhere between Respect and Tolerance is Acceptance. It's a neutral word and concept. It smacks of resignation at times, and curiousity at others. Depending on how it is used in a recipe of words it can calm the heat of a peppery topic.
As someone who is "tolerated" more often than respected, I simply long for acceptance. You don't have to love me. I know that respect is something earned over time. But do not deny me my inherant value by merely tolerating me. I'd rather that you shut me out entirely rather than roll your eyes and ignore me with a "huff" of tedium.
Does that help?
Edie
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I suppose it does
Date: 2003-01-27 08:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-01-27 10:57 pm (UTC)